Confession.. after 14 months MIA.. and a roller coaster of convictions, life lessons and changes in my reality and thinking..

Wow, I look at my page and realize that I have been meaning to write SO many things, to share so many experiences since becoming a wife and than a mother, and yet, not a peep, since the last post I made my last day of single life, just under 14 months ago.

I think maybe G-d has been trying to teach me about “storing these things in her heart.” When it’s appropriate to let G-d enlighten me and bless me, and ONLY me. Not in the sense that I hoard what he gives me, exactly, but that I simply need to apply it to my life and allow it to produce fruit in my life, which should mean I am a blessing to others around me. BEING a light, NOT TALKING about being a light. And maybe, as I learn to live speaking less and shining more,  I will eventually be able to put into words the meaning, the wisdom, behind all the moments, all the battles, all the lessons that were at times hard and dark, at other times simple, like duh! But, I’ve found that in talking about the trial, I often cause others to stumble.

You see, we all are supposed to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” and where I may be in my walk produces a fearing and trembling before Him at a different level than anyone else around me. I cannot go around forcing others to see what I see, to understand what I understand, to have experienced G-d the way I have. I have to just LIVE it, and hopefully I will produce fruit an light (YESHUA) that causes people to be drawn to me (HIM). When questions are raised, I should answer in humility, full of HIS spirit, regardless of the spirit driving the questions, and trust that G-d use my mouth to impart wisdom and understanding according to the hearts, ears and eyes present. We cannot go around ripping veils off people’s eyes, forcing people to see things our way by throwing all we know at blind, deaf or hard hearts, often getting angry, prideful, offended or rude, ourselves.

It’s what the oil is, especially in these increasingly dark days. Remember the parable of the 10 virgins, ALL ten are virgins waiting for the groom. They all believe in Him, they all are waiting for Him to return, but half fall asleep and run out of oil and as much as they try to get by on light of the other half, it’s impossible, for you MUST have your own oil, your own light, your own fruit, which ARE A RESULT of GOOD DEEDS, HOW you WALKED. It’s not enough to KNOW, for wisdom is the action produced by knowledge.

It is not enough for me to share what I know here, to is whoever reading (to the point where the list of “categories” is excessive and it’s a chore just to decide where my post fits). It’s better to share the recognizable fruit of G-d in my life personally. Because I feel G-d gave me the gift of writing to USE for Him. When it becomes about me, it doesn’t work. And that’s just the simple, simple of it- get back to the basics of finding Yah in everything- and celebrate life and joy, while recognizing the times we live in and walking accordingly.

Because as the greatest blessing of my life, ALITZA BRIEL means, “the Joy of YHWH is my strength!”

Today’s Proverb [8] was mind blowing on this topic..take the time to really read through it..

“Wisdom is calling!

Understanding is raising her voice!

On the heights along the road,
where the paths meet, she is standing;
by the gates leading into the city,
at the entrances, she cries aloud:

“People, I am calling you,
raising my voice to all mankind.
You who don’t direct your lives,
understand caution;
as for you, you fools,
get some common sense!

“Listen! I will say worthwhile things;
when I speak, my words are right.
My mouth says what is true,
because my lips detest evil.
All the words from my mouth are righteous;
nothing false or crooked is in them.
They are all clear to those who understand
and straightforward to those who gain knowledge.
10 Receive my instruction, rather than silver;
knowledge, rather than the finest gold.
11 For wisdom is better than pearls;
nothing you want can compare with her.

12 “I, wisdom, live together with caution;
I attain knowledge and discretion.
13 The fear of Adonai is hatred of evil.
I hate pride and arrogance,
evil ways and duplicitous speech.
14 Good advice is mine, and common sense;
I am insight, power is mine.
15 By me kings reign,
and princes make just laws.
16 By me princes govern,
nobles too, and all the earth’s rulers.
17 I love those who love me;
and those who seek me will find me.
18 Riches and honor are with me,
lasting wealth and righteousness.
19 My fruit is better than gold, fine gold,
my produce better than the finest silver.
20 I follow the course of righteousness
along the paths of justice,
21 to endow with wealth those who love me
and fill their treasuries.
22 Adonai made me as the beginning of his way,
the first of his ancient works.
23 I was appointed before the world,
before the start, before the earth’s beginnings.
24 When I was brought forth, there were no ocean depths,
no springs brimming with water.
25 I was brought forth before the hills,
before the mountains had settled in place;
26 he had not yet made the earth, the fields,
or even the earth’s first grains of dust.
27 When he established the heavens, I was there.
When he drew the horizon’s circle on the deep,
28 when he set the skies above in place,
when the fountains of the deep poured forth,
29 when he prescribed boundaries for the sea,
so that its water would not transgress his command,
when he marked out the foundations of the earth,
30 I was with him as someone he could trust.
For me, every day was pure delight,
as I played in his presence all the time,.
31 playing everywhere on his earth,
and delighting to be with humankind.

32 “Therefore, children, listen to me:
happy are those who keep my ways.
33 Hear instruction, and grow wise;
do not refuse it.
34 How happy the person who listens to me,
who watches daily at my gates
and waits outside my doors.
35 For he who finds me finds life
and obtains the favor of Adonai.
36 But he who misses me harms himself;
all who hate me love death.”’s that this election day! And, I mean sheesh..talking to myself.. ” have you thought of G-d’s vast omnipotence! You don’t have a clue about how anything works, so stop talking, sit down, and turn your ears up!”

And now to the confession of this disenfranchised poli-sci nerd, which ties into the above, “how ironic” 😉


I began walking in a new found conviction of mine, to not vote because of the deep rooted corruption, rigged (Hillary is set to win), two-party deception, after giving years of my life and efforts to the conservative platform, firmly believing both parties are just two heads on the same beast, one less evil than the other, but both driving the end of the world through oppression, deception and money.

All true, right?

But, I began feeling convicted slightly, by the Israeli people reminding us that if Killary gets elected it means the end of Israel.

And then I began to think about it..

The fact is that the UN has voted, backed by  plenty of Christian denominations, to remove Jerusalem from her rightful place, as the capital of the Jewish State. Such a move is historically and Biblically wrong and not factual, and yet it stands, and Hillary R. Clinton will push it through.

The fact is she is for mandatory vaccinations for everyone.

And abortion until seconds before a child is born.

She murders and steals and kills.

She has had a huge hand in all the wickedness seen on a GLOBAL scale and it will continue ahead full throttle if she is elected.

The fact is there has been a push by anti G-d forces, in the world and even in the church, to remove the importance of circumcision, the truth about it, that it IS THE COVENANT sign that you are HIS child. ALL over the world there is a push to demean it, equate it to “cosmetic torture” and even criminalize it.

Just like usual, it will be illegal to keep more and more of G-d’s commandments.

And if Killary gets elected that’s much closer..

G-d hit me in the midst of my now struggle not to vote, and showed me, I believe, through various moments and conversations what certain answered prayer might entail, if it’s about me.

If I just accept the fate of Killary, I accept the judgment she brings upon my friends, my family, my neighbors, the Israelis, the Syrian Christians, the world; and probably even myself. How dare I think I am ready for this, in my own strength.

And for that alone, I vote for Trump. Give us a little more time. Hear the cries of your repentant people in this land, Aba, please!

I have not prayed enough, I have not shared enough, I can’t remember scripture (to last if Bibles are taken), I haven’t produced enough fruit and I am not ready!

And the fact is, despite all that they control, HE is still in control!

So Aba, please take the votes and raise up who you would deem. Yes, we deserve Killary. In depravity we live, just like the Germans of Hitler’s day, turning a blind eye to genocide and slavery, consuming the products produced on the lives of others, but we beg you to give us a little more time, so that a few more might me spared.

Raise up a Cyress, a man of the system Daniel found himself, but who sent Ezra and Nehemiah back to Jerusalem with G-d’s Holy things, defiled by Nebuchadnezzer, to be rededicated in the 2nd Temple.

Use Trump in such a way as he’s pledged to stand with Israel!

If you haven’t voted, please just go-turn your ballot into an active weapon with which HaShem can use and move in our midst!




Eikev (Because)..

The Torah Portion for  August 8, 2015 is entitled Eikev, which means “Because”. It is the description of Moshe’s final “sermon” to the people and has to do with WHAT HaShem will do BECAUSE of what WE DO. The Torah is how HaShem has given us to be Heaven on earth and experience Heaven on earth.

TORAH: D’variym (Deuteronomy) 7: 12-11: 25
HAFTARAH: Yesh’yahu (Isaiah) 49: 14-51: 3
BRIT CHADASHAH: Yochanan (John) 13: 31-15: 27

I pray that HaShem’s unchanging, never-ending Word penetrate your life and ignite within you true worship, repentance, and understanding! Blessings!

V’etchanan (And I pleaded)..

The Torah Portion for August 1, 2015 is entitled V’etchanan, which means, “And I pleaded” and covers Moshe’s plea with HaShem to be able to enter the Promised Land. This year it comes in correspondence with Tisha B’Av (the 9th of Av; anniversary of historically devastating occurrences) making the Shabbat special, entitled Shabbat Nachamu (Sabbath of Comfort).

TORAH: Devariym (Deuteronomy) 3: 23-7: 11
HAFTARAH: Yesh’yahu (Isaiah) 40: 1-26
BRIT CHADASHAH: Yochanan 10: 1-42

I pray the following teachings touch your heart and impact your life in such an impactful way! May the coming week be one of blessing for you!

My Hebrew Name..

One of the “fun” parts of becoming a Bat [or Bar] Mitzvah, for those of us being grafted-in as adults, is being given/choosing a Hebrew name. The concept for mine has been established for some time, and I thought I had my name all sorted too, but no longer had the pressing responsibility of deciding the details such as proper Hebrew spelling. That is until we were faced with writing our Hebrew names into our Kettubah (marriage contract) later with a pen, or having them ready to print on now, knowing that our ceremonies are certainly being strived toward.

In an effort to choose best, I began discussing and brainstorming with others in my BAY community and collaborating; a friend reached out to her relatives and even a friend in Israel for my sake.

The result leaves me grinning very broadly and proudly, because although it is not at all what I originally had picked out, it even more perfectly portrays the image and character that I feel HaShem instilled in my heart to convey while maintaining part of my given English name, even though that was mot a priority.

The concept behind my name comes from the mandate in Shophtiym (Bat Mitzvah Torah Portion) to seek Righteousness and to be the Light of that Righteousness through our actions (in every moment and exchange), and also from the desire to incorporate my beloved Dampa into it. Both his first name and Sir name carry with them the idea of strength and warrior and so the entire idea was to be a “warrior for the Righteous Light of G-d.”

Tzedek being my favorite word (also appearing as a double mandate in Shophtiym), I chose to feminize it and add the concept of light (Or) to it, deciding on Tzedekorah as my first name. Then, since Scripturally the only person named warrior is Gideon, I feminized that and made it Gidonyah for my second name.

Tzedekorah Gidonyah bat Avraham.

And, yet it just did not seem to stick (other than to the roof of people’s mouth’

That’s when I decided to ask those with Israeli roots and connections and the outcome is stunningly beautiful and symbolic and perfect, if you ask me!

Yasher (aka Jasher) is one of my favorite historical and “supplemental” book. But, what I did not know is that Yasher means “one who is righteous, upright” and is a rare female name, also taking various forms including Yashera.

Perfect. I love it. There’s my first name: Yashera- Righteous/Upright One.

Then came a lot of brainstorming and playing around, mixing and matching trying to get the other concepts in there and I had decided on one of the combinations we had come up with, when I decided to take another look in my Hebrew name book. It was then that I came across a name for “desire” (what my english name means) that I had never seen before, Nirtzah. But, then a few names down I noticed Nitzrah (the TZaddi and Reish are swapped), which means “guard, protect, keep, watchman.” Much like the warrior I am striving for! (What’s more I realized also that my English middle name also means shelter, protect, refuge-huh.. what do you know? 😉 and at least I get a Tzaddi (my favorite hebrew letter) in my name!)

Again, perfect. I love it. There’s my second name: Nitzrah- Guard/Watchman.

And then for the idea of Light; lots of popular “light” names have to do with MY light, being given light, etc., but I needed Light of G-d, because he is not reference in the Righteous piece or the Warrior. I scanned right past it at first, but then I had to take pause and go back. Uriela, the feminine version of Uriel the archangel, meansFLAME of G-d, not merely light of G-d and so powerfully expresses the fire of HaShem that is meant to shine forth. Not to mention, my Betrothed will be Gabriel [Yoseph], another archangel meaning “G-d is my strength”; these two are mentioned together in the middle of the Four (Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, and Raphael) when they are mentioned in the Bedtime Shema, which we absolutely love. I had thought it would be cool to incorporate my Beloved somehow and he was the one who initially pushed for “light of G-d” and look how those 2 elements are combined here!

Perfect. I totally love it. My third name: Uriela- Flame of G-d.

And there it is:

Yashera Nitzrah Uriela: Righteous/Upright One, Guard/Watchman/Keeper, Flame of G-d.

My life’s purpose is to be a Righteous and Upright Guardian, Watchman, and Flame of HaShem.

Oh how He has been teaching me just what responsibility and dedication is required to be such an servant and image of the Most High. What an honor; I hope to wear it with humility, gratitude, and sincerity!

When Selling Aborted Babies’ Organs and Parts No Longer Shocks Us..

Each day that passes, I look around at this corrupted place, so FAR removed from HaShem and His Presence, and see that we have slipped even further into the abyss of darkest complacency, while much of the world burns with violence, war, oppression, and apathy. Yet, with each day, the magnitude of vile wickedness grows  increasingly worse; horrific truths some of us have known and professed, often to the detriment of our reputations and pride, are being exposed and compounded with even more horrific truths CAUGHT on tape: Planned Parenthood trafficking the body parts of the murdered unborn for money, “research”, and genocide. I have begun to adjust my perspective of this blog from anger and despair into love and hope; but some days the despair is just more than I can bear. Consequently, I realize that the best I can do is to  adjust the angry rant into a heartbroken plea for repentance! It is my heart’s cry that the details of the despicable, heinous reality of Abortion, in ALL its “facets”, will cause each and every one of my readers to cry out to HaShem in repentance for this vile, evil, unspeakable wickedness that is mocked and justified and funded by the pompous and the powerful. With tears weeping down each of our faces, I pray the details described here bring LIFE-CHANGING conviction and determination to STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT NO MATTER THE COST. No matter the cost to our reputations, security, pride, comforts, freedom, and even our lives! Why? Because that IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, and THE LIFE! To be like Our Creator in the world, we HAVE to do what’s RIGHT when it’s HARD. That’s how HE said HE will KNOW US! In order to do what’s right in hard situations, we must we willing to face the truth! And so here is the cold, hard, despicable truth. Planned Parenthood: Illegally trafficks the body parts and organs of aborted babies Aids and abets child sex-trafficking rings Preforms late-term abortions Preforms partial-birth abortions Targets minority groups (especially blacks) Supports sex-selective abortions Manipulates  and deceives on the grandest scale, changing “care” in order to reap greater monetary benefit while increasingly lying to “patients” It’s as if NOW the harsh reality is finally starting to sink in, causing some people, organizations, and companies to back away from Murder Profiteers.  The harsh reality of abortion was so easily scoffed at before, so easily airbrushed and justified through talking points that thrived on ignorance and complacency; the idea that aborted babies are used for research, vaccinations, beauty products, and FOOD demonized and denied. NOW that the OBVIOUS trail of money, corruption, deception, exploitation, murder, and fraud is STARING EVERYONE IN THE FACE, and I say to those reversing their funding and support, “TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE!” For too long now we have know which companies give directly to Planned Parenthood and yet, most of us still utilize their services and products, and THUS DIRECTLY FUNDING THEM AS WELL. Here is a list of direct donors; Most of these companies  lost my support years ago,  but the few I do business with now  will be axed:

  1. Adobe 2. American Cancer Society 3. American Express 4. AT&T 5. Avon 6. Bank of America 7. Bath & Body Works 8. Ben & Jerry’s 9. Clorox 10. Coca-Cola 11. Converse 12. Deutsche Bank 13. Dockers 14. Energizer 15. Expedia 16. ExxonMobil 17. Fannie Mae 18. Ford 19. Groupon 20. Intuit 21. Johnson & Johnson 22. La Senza 23. Levi Strauss 24. Liberty Mutual 25. Macy’s 26. March of Dimes 27. Microsoft 28. Morgan Stanley 29. Nike 30. Oracle 31. PepsiCo 32. Pfizer 33. Progressive 34. Starbucks 35. Susan G. Komen 36. Tostitos 37. Unilever 38. United Way 39. Verizon 40. Wells Fargo 41. Xerox

For some time many of us have been made aware that not only are companies researching on these murdered bodies, but that often, this “research” consists of putting these babies into food products and drinks. We are ingesting the murdered bodies of babies and ignorance and complacency CAN NO LONGER BE AN EXCUSE FOR ANYONE WHO IS A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH! Now there is proof that THIS IS HAPPENING! HOW LONG WILL WE SLEEP-HOW MUCH BLOOD UNTIL WE CARE TO SACRIFICE OF OUR NICETIES TO “DO JUSTICE, LOVE MERCY, and WALK HUMBLY WITH OUR G-D!?” (Mikyah (Micah) 6:8) When we find ourselves living in a society where murdered baby human beings are discussed over lunch like a slab of roast beef, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. But, when we find ourselves seemingly unseparated from such a society, clinging and addicted to the very companies, products, images, and traditions that promote, fund, and lobby for murder, WE REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM! The time to stand is now. The time to separate from the wicked daughter of harlotry to embrace HaShem’s ways in every area of our lives is now! I cry out in broken repentance! Forgive us this unspeakable atrocity! I no longer want any part of her, her murder, corruption, idolatry, or comfortable living !   I want Mashiyach and His Righteous-justice!


1 After these things, I saw another angel coming down from heaven. He had great authority, the earth was lit up by his splendor.

2 He cried out in a strong voice, “She has fallen! She has fallen! Bavel the Great! She has become a home for demons, a prison for every unclean spirit, a prison for every unclean, hated bird.
3 “For all the nations have drunk of the wine of God’s fury caused by her whoring – yes, the kings of the earth went whoring with her, and from her unrestrained love of luxury the world’s businessmen have grown rich.”
4 Then I heard another voice out of heaven say: “My people, come out of her! so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not be infected by her plagues,
5 for her sins are a sticky mass piled up to heaven, and God has remembered her crimes.
6 “Render to her as she rendered to others! Pay her back double for what she has done! Use the cup in which she has brewed to brew her a double-sized drink!
7 “Give her as much torment and sorrow as the glory and luxury she gave herself! For in her heart she says, ‘I sit a queen – I am not a widow, I will never see sorrow.’
8 “Therefore, her plagues will come in a single day – death, sorrow and famine; and she will be burned with fire, because ADONAI, God, her Judge, is mighty”
9 The kings of the earth who went whoring with her and shared her luxury will sob and wail over her when they see the smoke as she burns.
10 Standing at a distance, for fear of her torment, they will say, “Oh no! The great city! Bavel, the mighty city! In a single hour your judgment has come!”
11 The world’s businessmen weep and mourn over her, because no one is buying their merchandise any more –
12 stocks of gold and silver, gems and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, all rare woods, all ivory goods, all kinds of things made of scented wood, brass, iron and marble;
13 cinnamon, cardamom, incense, myrrh, frankincense, wine, oil, flour, grain, cattle, sheep, horses, chariots – and bodies – and people’s souls.
14 The fruits you lusted for with all your heart have gone! All the luxury and flashiness have been destroyed, never to return!
15 The sellers of these things, who got rich from her, will stand at a distance, for fear of her torment, weeping and mourning,
16 and saying, “Oh no! The great city used to wear fine linen, purple and scarlet! She glittered with gold, precious stones and pearls!
17 Such great wealth – in a single hour, ruined!” All the ship masters, passengers, sailors and everyone making his living from the sea stood at a distance
18 and cried out when they saw the smoke as she burned, “What city was like the great city?”
19 And they threw dust on their heads as they wept and mourned, saying, “Oh no! The great city! The abundance of her wealth made all the ship owners rich! In a single hour she is ruined!”
20 Rejoice over her, heaven! Rejoice, people of God, emissaries and prophets! For in judging her, God has vindicated you.
21 Then a mighty angel picked up a boulder the size of a great millstone, and hurled it into the sea, saying, “With violence like this will the great city Bavel be hurled down, never to be found again!
22 “The sound of harpists and musicians, flute-players and trumpeters will never again be heard in you. No worker of any trade will ever again be found in you, the sound of a mill will never again be heard in you,
23 the light of a lamp will never again shine in you, the voice of bridegroom and bride will never again be heard in you. “For your businessmen were the most powerful on earth, all the nations were deceived by your magic spell.
24 “In her was found the blood of prophets and of God’s people, indeed, of all who have ever been slaughtered on earth!”


Measure for Measure; We Will Be Judged

Many of you know how I feel about the system we continue to  claim is “justice” while it does everything BUT Justice and you may even know many of the reasons why I feel the way I do. My time spent studying and working within this field has left me disgusted at the way the “Justice System” works these days. Yet, rarely can the blatantly obvious become so personally real in the lives of those around me.

I have two friends enduring the corruption from opposite ends of our warped Justice System. Both are perfect examples of how our system, under the guise of Justice, does not judge righteously, measure for measure, but rather judges with self preservation, concerned more about money and personal advancement than about bettering human kind, restoring integrity, rebuilding relationships, or rendering true judgment.

My first friend is one I have not know very long at all. We met at a Human Trafficking Taskforce of Southern Colorado meeting. She is a Survivor. A survivor of some of the most heinous and horrific oppression-her story causes me to take pause-from being lured as a young child by an older “friend” and her “boyfriend” to being beaten, strangled, and left for dead with brain injuries by a man abusing her and trying to enslave and exploit her. Upon first seeing her one has not a clue as to what she has been through; she smiles brightly, sharing her story, and inspiring others to reach those still trapped.

But, the point of her mention is not for me to talk about her, but to talk about how  the courts have ruled in favor of the man that left her for dead, who also has a trail of many other victims. His initial sentence of 32 years in prison (extremely light, if you ask me, for all the terror and harm he has caused so many) is being shaved off very quickly thanks to the “good time” being granted him: 10-16 days EVERY month, cutting his 32 year sentence by more than 50%, serving 10-15 years instead! OUTRAGEOUS!!

My second friend is a dear friend of mine that I have known for nearly 12 years; we have been there for some of each other’s best and worst times, from dorm days to motherhood, DUI’s and rehab to sobriety and surrender to the Creator! Her continued presence on this earth and the light she now shines is a treasure I feel so honored and blessed to witness; I regularly thank HaShem for this reality-He could have taken her! Those that know her now cannot see the broken desperate soul she once was, for she embraces her “second chance” at life with a renewed faith in the Creator and a contagious gratitude that appreciates all that  life has to offer!

But, the point of her mention also has little to do with her, but with her fiancé, who is also a recovered addict. He has some non-violent crimes  associated with his addiction on his record, but has been sober for 14 months spreading awareness about addiction and recovery and rebuilding relationships within the community. In just one week , on August 14, 2015, he goes before a judge facing 8.5 years in prison! That could be 1.5 years less than the victimizing trafficker!! Again, OUTRAGEOUS!

I am not going to go into the vast research on correction and rehabilitation, but I will say that not only will this destroy his life and his chance to survive “on the outside,” but it will wreak havoc on his fiancé’s life and the lives of each of his children, and cost the taxpayers a slew of money! Nothing will be  “corrected” and the list of problems it will cause is endless.

The corrections system is supposed to just that : correct bad behavior to the benefit of as many as possible. Punishment, Correction, Restitution, and Rehabilitation can and should work together to right the wrongs committed. Neither one  of these scenarios exemplifies this.

This is gross exploitation of mercy and extreme manipulation of justice, period.

Punishment is all that can await a system that is so corrupted it harshly punishes petty offenders and even those living a rehabilitated and progressing life, while offering sanctions and “get out of jail free cards” to extremely violent predators and repeat offenders.

YAH WILL JUDGE RIGHTLY-and the ways of this world stand in staunch opposition to the ways of our Creator.  We will be punished. The kinds of things we will start to see coming to this nation, will be because HaShem allowed it.